Living on Your Own After Divorce
Published on Jan 8, 2019 | in divorce
Readjustment to life after a divorce can be very challenging. Divorce proceedings alone require a great deal of time, money, and emotional energy. After enlisting the help of an Austin divorce attorney to have the courts finalize the decision to end your marriage, you face the task of re-learning how to live independently of your former spouse. Whether you were married for decades or less than a year, you can live a happy, healthy, and independent life after divorce.
Find What Makes You Happy
The aftermath of divorce can leave you with feelings of sadness, depression, and anxiety. These feelings are very normal and expected after the end of a marriage. Living and spending more time alone can exacerbate depression as well. However, you cannot let these emotions keep you from enjoying life.
One of the top strategies for overcoming post-divorce sadness is to engage in meaningful, purposeful activities. Think carefully of activities that bring joy into your life. Consider the life goals you have not yet accomplished. Then, create a plan to incorporate these activities and goals into your daily life.
By incorporating joyful and meaningful activities, you can clear your head and assist yourself in making decisions for the next chapter of your life. Do you want to obtain a graduate degree? Start researching programs to apply for. Do you enjoy quilting, but never had time to sew due to spousal obligations? Join a quilter’s guild.
Not only will these activities fill your newfound free time, but you will develop a greater sense of purpose and move forward with your life.
Practice Letting Go
Overcoming a divorce is a very similar process to grieving. You experienced the deep loss of a person you thought you could build a life with. Regardless of who initiated the proceedings, you may experience feelings of regret, anger, and bitterness about your former marriage. You may hear a small voice in your head questioning where your relationship turned sour and developing alternate scenarios where your marriage remained intact.
These feelings are normal after a divorce. However, blaming yourself and reminiscing over the details of the relationship doesn’t help you feel better about the situation. In fact, these feelings can hold you back from continuing on with your life.
To move forward after a divorce, acknowledge your emotions and thoughts. You have a right to feel sad, angry, and bitter for a while. However, you can learn from your past relationship and prepare for the next part of your life. Life after divorce exists – learn to let go of these past memories so you can move on.
Redecorate and Renovate
Homes can hold memories of your former marriage. If you are staying in the house you lived in with your ex-spouse, take steps to make the space your own. If you moved into a new space, use this opportunity as a fresh start. Redecorating a home to reflect your personality can be comforting and empowering.
Replace or return as many of your spouse’s possessions as possible. Having these items in your home can trigger unpleasant memories and emotions. Replace your house plants, air fresheners, and perfumes to remove any lingering smells that may remind you of the marriage. Replace your bed linens or the bed itself to rid your home of those memories as well.
Consider a Change of Scenery
Staying in your home after a divorce can increase negative emotions and impact your mental health. A change of scenery can provide benefits to your physical and emotional health. Spend more time outside enjoying nature, in the mountains or at the beach. Take a trip to a place you’ve always wanted to visit. Although it may seem scary at first, solo travel can be liberating for many recent divorcees.
If you are looking for a more drastic change, consider moving. Perhaps you moved to your city or state to support your spouse’s new job or to be closer to his or her family. Moving closer to your family and friends can provide you with a necessary divorce support system. In addition, moving to another city can allow for a truly fresh start.
Living alone after a divorce offers numerous opportunities for personal growth. You can take advantage of your newfound freedom to build a healthier, happier life for yourself and your family.